Xx..KeEp iT a sEcReT AiTe..xX

2008-07-22T16:07:00.003+08:00

This Blog is no longer being used or updated by marsha..

This will be the last post that will be posted..

There are a lot of Kaypoo-s and ngekngok people whom really care bout me soo much.. Aww...*I'M TOUCH* *wink*(=hehe.

However, this blog will remain as it is and will not be deleted due to my personal reasons..

Though the poppet Corner is no longer in use... Sorry for the inconvinience sayang-zzz..

To all my Lovie Dovie hate taggers fans.. Thanks for your support and concerns..
Really appreciated.. (=

Love Love Cinta Cinta Sayang Sayang

You Guys Loads Loads...

*Kisses&huggies*

2008-07-04T21:47:00.006+08:00

Im soo freaking mendak to da max right now.. Cant sleep at all.. Maybe loadsa things stuck in my head.. should i ignore? should i remain silence? should i just go with the flow? hais.. WTH! im totally gundu right now..*WACK MARSHA's HEAD* Sometimes i wonder if i can invent a remote control that can control my mind so that i can press a STOP button to my brain.. Coz seriously.. my mind is damn freaking tired but it still insist to keep thinking.. stupid brain of mine! (boleh gitu marah ngan otak sendrik? haha boleh jer la..)

n yeah.. Since nothing to do, decided to upload all the Sydney's and recent pics ,as i had promised from da previous post, but unfortunately, i cant.. i dunnoe wats da prob lar kan.. is it bcos of the network, or my laptop, or the pics itself or maybe its because of the owner herself.. feeling VERY NGEKNGOK this few days(tk penting eh marsha.. no link! haha).. *dundun face* shrugged. The pics cant be uploaded ni.. IRRITATING BAGALAP SHITOS TOL AR.. There's some errors which me myself kinda sotong bout tis kinda stuff.. but nah.. nahmind.. will try next other time..

Okay.. what to popet ehk.. hm..okay.. its saturday morning.. its aweadi blabla A.M(my laptop's time is aweadi terbiat so i dunnoe wat time is it now).. My name is marsha.. My laptop is my unfriendly friend that i have right now.. I name my laptop Devil Lil Angle.. coz my laptop always pissed me off but due to its kindness right now, by accompanying me when no one wanna accompany me(kesiankan.. haha), so i've decided to change lil bit of mindset towards it by saying tat its actually have lil angle.. HAHAHA. mepekzzzz.hmhm... okay..marsha's talking craps.. duh! *yell out loud!!* IM DAMN BORED LAR!! i have no idea what to talk actually.. hm.. what i noe is just i wanna keep typing n typing n typing.. so negative thoughts will never struck into my head anymore n time will past very fast... Making myself sleepy typing all this noncense.. duh..

Okay lets stop it.. Lets talk bout something else.. urm.. okay.. Lets open a new topic.. hm.. okay its a question..what do u guys think of ur bf's bestfriend who confessed to u that he actually likes u n admire u since the day he talk with u.. a bestfriend who all this while has been covering up ur bf's ass.. always telling u that u shudnt listen to others more than to ur own bf.. asking u to have faith in ur own bf... assuring u that ur bf is loyal n sincere type of person.. he will never did things behind u.. but out of nowhere one day he came to u n confronted u.. telling u that all those thing that he has said about ur bf was all lies.. it was just for the sake of dont wanna quarrel with ur bf n dun want ur bf to feel that he's backstabbing ur bf.. n now he says that ur bf doesnt deserve u.. saying that ur bf is a stupid asshole.. saying that ur bf all this while was cheating on you n lying to u.. saying that all tis while ur bf was making fool of u n just wanna take advantage of what u have right now.. he tells u that ur bf said that sooner or later he gonna ditch u.. just waiting for the right time.. After a lots of "hardworking"... finally he ask n beg u to leave ur bf.. he said that he wanted to open a new chapter of life with u.. he promised u that he will brighten up every single days of urs.. will treat u better than ur bf had n lead u to a happy ever after life.. he then keep pestering u to give him a chance n forcing u out for a date.. n eventually the best part is that he asked u to promise him not to tell ur bf that he is contacting u n whatever he had confessed.. After hearing all this.. what might be ur reaction? how do u react towards it? confusion? angry? still have 100% trust on ur bf? no dobt at all with ur bf? keep it to urself? confront ur bf? or just go with the flow n be prepared for the worst?

--based on true story of NS men..

2008-06-24T16:08:00.007+08:00

hm....
still at sch.. P.D having exam.. so yar.. waiting for him..
n im bored!! so feel like blogging as its been few days i didnt update my blog..
so yar.. here we go peppot again..

I just came back from Sydney.. Went there with my cuzie, Sally, n her fren...
Seriously, it was dope..
Love the scenary... especially the clouds n the sunset..
The weather is nice... -->according to my sally(thick skin lady!haha), but for me its damn cold to death!
n as per normal I shop like no one business!! haha. n yar..shocked me that i had spent 1k just on shopping.. n i dunnoe y..somehow i still feel its not enuf! *crazy marsha* *slap marsha's forehead* haha.
However the foodthere was damn freaking ex! just imagine one kebab would cost around 10 aus dollars n a VERY small bowl of tomyum will cost 15.95 aus dollars which is totally not worth it ar..CRAZY!! *BLOODSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER lar siak!* haha.
n the most exciting n happy moment for me was at the zoo!! WEEEEE....
It was the first time in my life ever im not scared to touch an animal... n seriously im so proud of it.. haha*jakon Marsha!* Seriously, i usually damn scared to even come near an animal except birds n ants lar.. of coz! haha. wohooo.. n i fell in love with the koala there.. REALLY! hehe. damn cute!! okay..i think no need for me to b longwinded.. basically I REALLY ENJOYED THE TRIP N I LOVE IT!! hehe. will upload the pics soon.. as ol the pics still with my cuzie...

The day after i reached spore, my Mok P.D brought me to SEOUL GARDEN again!! hehe. blame him for all my babats! haha. n he bought me a roller blade too! hehe. n till now im still ngekngok playing it. haha. n he kept making fun of my stupidness n slengerness. THANKS TO HIM LAR EHK! *bagalap boifey!*hehe. However i do appreciate all his effort n wat he had done for me. Anyway... to my dearie P.D, i dun expect anything more from u d..coz wat ure now is really enuf for me.. i just loved the way u treated n show ur love to me right now.. no need to worry bout anything aite.. lets just pray to God that nothing will come in between of us aite..

I feel very lethargic n ngekngok today.. hais.. My body aching like shits.. Oh God!! no!!! pls i dun wanna fall a sick again.. I cant effort to skip anymore.. So please give me the healthy n active lifestyle again..

2008-06-09T00:50:00.002+08:00

I kept my head up high,and then you came my way.
I have been hurt so many times.
My heart filled with so much pain.
but now that pain has faded away.
and im strong and brave again.
For I have found a place I want to be.
This place I see is with you, my dearie P.D.

I love you because you make me happy
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure
I love your smile n laugh
I love the way you called me 'baybee'
I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put me down.
I love the fact that when I'm around you
I can be myself and not worry about what you may think of me,
because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.

It is Love that gives me courage
to stand against my fears
to open up my heart to you,
to let you see my tears.
It is Love that gives me trust and hope
when little thing go wrong.
When distance stands between us,
it is Love that keeps me strong.
but why now everything seems wrong?

Love gives a great pleasure,
and those moments I do treasure,
it will never be the mainway to show I care,
but for u to know weneva u need me i'll always b there.

I'll be the clock gently ticking,
reminding you of the times,
however thinking without reacting,
taking u far away from the fine.

I often fail to show the depth of love to you.
I try to do the little things,to show you every day.
But one thing or another seems to get into the way.
I keep telling myself to be more open,
to have courage and be strong.
But some how fear takes over and then everything goes wrong.
I dream of perfect love for us,and hope that it will be.
And yet I end up giving you a less than perfect me.
I want to be much more for you,
be everything you need.
I hope and seek, beg and pray"Change me God! ", I plead.
You are the only one I want now.
I guess, my love, there's still so much that I have yet to learn.
I cannot give perfection,but this I promise I will do,
I will spend my life time learning how to give my love to you.

I hope i'll belong to you till the very end,
and you will forever stay as my lover and friend.
It has been so good like this from the start,
so my dearie P.D please, have a faith in me n trust me with your heart.

2008-05-28T23:05:00.007+08:00

hm.. Okay.. cant sleep although its aweadi 12 plus..
Feeling2 of updating.. so yeah.. here we goes..

Its Wednesday..
so i woke up a bit late today..
Went out with P.D..
P.D fetched me.. As usual marsha's always late.. hehe. Luckily tat bagalap bacin didnt get angry... sori bacin.. n yar... im really glad to have a patience dinosaur like u.. (=

As planned..We went to Pasir Ris beach.. As both of us wanted to destress lar katekan..
Wanted to feeling2 hawaii.. hehe. So yeah.. lurve the breeze.. it was damn peaceful..
But after awhile.. my stomach started to KROOK KROOK again.. hehe. Its time to feed them P.D......... hehe.
So we went to Tampines Mall as i suggested to eat LJS..
It was rainning.. Luckily it started wen we aweadi reached Tamp.. If not surely i'll feel ngekngok da whole day having my top all wet.. hm..
After reaching the top level, i saw this huge logo... its the place where i really2 craving to eat for the past a month ago..
n.......IM SOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING HAPPY!!
guess wat.......hehehe. *smiley2 big2 huge2*
TODAY my P.D fulfill it... hehehe. heart2 cinta2 sayang2 him a lot!!! hehe. *huggies*

SEOUL GARDEN!!!!! i swear.. i ate EXTRA damn freaking A LOT today... Just imagined, i ate untill my stomach become like a 7 months pregnant lady!!wohoooo.. STOP IT LAR SEY... perangai dundun sey marsha.. hehe. but nah.. who cares right... all i care tat point of time was oni THE FOOD N THE FOOD N THE FOOOOOOOOD!! hehe. yummy2...
Thanks P.D... i really2 very2 super2 enjoy it.. hehe. (=

<<3

2008-05-24T23:32:00.004+08:00

Okay.. Few days havent update.. so it will be a loooooong poppet session here..
Lets start poppet-ing here..

17-19 MEI
Hm... had fun for the past few days.. hehe. When for da KL trip with cuzzie Sally.. We gone crazy out there shopping, shopping n shopping... been treated seriously like a princess.. wolalala~~ pampering ourselves with the luxurious.. hehe. But unfornately The Threesome was incomplete as tat mama Yuhtee didnt join us.. But nah.. its okay.. there's always next other time right... collect collect collect money2 many2 byk2 aite so we can go wolala again....(=

n Thanks to my Purple Dinosaur for the surprise on that night.. hehe. Really appreciated d.. so sweet of you.. (=

20 MEI

My babats getting worst as im getting fatter n fatter! argh.. Therefore have to or maybe the perfect word is MUST exercise!! hmph.. so i went for jogging with Purple Dinosaur n Sally.. fuh.. damn tiring! my muscles are pain n seriously my WHOLE BODY is aching!! argh.. After a so called tiring jog(which is just a seriously short jog.. haha), we hang out at pasir ris beach.. Feeling2 small kid at the playground.. but then tat two craaaaaaazy ppl then decided to climb the spider web which is for me IS TOTALLY HELL NO!! However due to both of them, i've been forced to do it.. Gosh.. oni God noes how scared n bagalap i was up there.. my heart is like stop at a moment when im looking down.. duh.. n thanks to them eh.. cos of tat i had a cut on my hands..haha. however i really enjoyed the way my life goes on rite now.. My life is full of enjoyment and adventures every single day.. I get to do and experience things that i've never thought that i can do.. All thanks to Purple Dinosaur.. For opening up my eyes on what the real world is n how fun life could be if we look ahead n never ever dwell over the past..

21 MEI

Not schooling but still going to meet that purple dinosaur(P.D)..
Wednesday as per norm, is a free day except for P.D as he got his FYP meeting.. so yar..
He wif his meeting n i with my own chores till arnd 3.. n i was craving for rojak mama which i dunnoe watsup wif me.. haha. So P.D brought me to S11.. (=
Due to my slengerness, after eating ,both of us went to the library to study.. as i tot tat i got a test on the day after.. SLENG! whereby my test is act on fri.. but nah..as in malay phrase says prepare an umbrella before its rain.. so yar.. haha. macam paham! *perangai cap tige sak marsha*

22 MEI
went home early.. nothing much..as both of us were tired and moreover has an exam the day after..

23 MEI
Finished school late as we had an exam on that day.. After that, as per norm.. My stomach keep yelling at me asking me to feed them.. So i suggested P.D to eat at beach rd n as usual he will always agreed with me.. (= but argh.. Its a damn freaking long journey sak n i swear tat i can feel my butt being flat! duh! However after having the food, there's no regret.. as the food was really dope lar sey! haha. (= After that he accompanied me home to change.. As wat we had make a point whereby every tuesday n friday we must jog.. so yar.. we went for jogging..
at arnd 8 i rushed home.. cos nid to sent my dad to untie normah's place.. Around 10 plus went out again to fetch my dad n went for dupper with my family.. hish... tiring..

TODAY
Went out with P.D n his frens.. duh.. type a lot aweadi..Lazy to type somemore.. hehe. but niwae the pics tells.. (=

n this some of the pictures taken during the KL trip...(=

In da room.. pampering ourselves..

Our act decend faces.. ahaha.(tak menjadi punye..)

2008-05-13T22:33:00.005+08:00

Tueday...

as usual.. Marsha was late to school.. reached school after break..
reasons: Overslept?? or...... PURPOSELY overslept... haha.
actual reason:
1-tues- DATABASE Module
2-Faci- Selet man, who is damn fucking sucks!
3-MARSHA REALLY HATE HIM!!!
4-MAYBE overslept... haha.
Other than that ngekngok modules, everything is great n fun today. Especially having my purple dinosaur by my side.. makes my life feel woooolala~~~ hehe. n.. now im really into soya beancurd!! everyday cant miss eating eat.. n now im getting fatter n fatter.. ARGH!! n all this i've to put blame on that bagalap purple dinosaur!! He's such a bad influence!! REALLY!! haha.
Cant wait for tommorrow.. weeeeeeeeeee..Meeting my purple dinosaur early in da morning.... n we're going for..
-Roller blading...
-Movies...
-Head Massaging...
n........ SEOUL GARDEN..!!!
hehe.

Love love MY BAGALAP PURPLE DINOSAUR loads loads. Never fails to cheer me up every single day.. (=

CINTA-CINTA LOVE-LOVE SAYANG-SAYANG my GURLFRIENDS too...
credits to ELMO for these pics....

MaRsHa PuTri FaThEeN NaBeeLaH....

2008-05-01T19:24:00.017+08:00

Damn shagged. Reached home about 8 plus in da morning.
Had fun last night with all them. n especially the Boify. Thanks D..
Haha. To think bout what had happened yesterday, every single ones' ngekngok character and bagalap attitude makes me smile... n to flash back the time when all of us were sleeping in da MRT, everyone was looking at us n we're making ourselves at home, i cant stop laughing... HAHAHA. n yar.. i REALLY DO had fun.. thank guys.. I love my laydees n the new friends loads loads.. (=

Here are some of the pictures to share.. anyway..sorry gurls.. some of them are blur.......

At Pasir Ris MRt station..

(while waiting for tat makcik yati.. n this is what happened when joya gurls meet each other.. )

(dundun,marsha,mak peah n mc'd girl) (=

(n yar.. we are cuzzies.. (= )

(marsha n her PURPLE DINOSAUR)

(n tis is the day wen The Threesome reunite back)

On our way to our wooooolala land..

(tat is when mama ti gets mad... OMG! n it scares my purple dinosaur! haha)

(close up..OMG! i look fat here.. n cant deny im gainning weight.. haha)

The moment when we reached our wooolala land...

(The beauty of The Woolala Land... haha)

(This is when my purple dinosaur feeling2 emo la kan.. haha)

(da moment when marsha ngah syiok sendrik..)

(marsha's drumstick hand.. (= )

(oreocheesecake & her buffymokpok (opps..sori D..(=) )

(oh.. oh.. a purple dinosaur gone evil behind me!!)

The wackness of duduns' faces......

Love me;THANKYOU.Hate me;FUCKYOU. (=

2008-04-22T18:37:00.005+08:00

I think today is the most ngekngok day ever!!!! duh!! haha.

1-ROAD JAM

2-LATE TO SCHOOL!!! -0.5 again!! mampos.. as in im dead if everyday like this sey.haiyoh.

3- Stupid faci
3.1= He's damn cibeh
3.2= He's fucking bias
3.3= He's just an asshole!!
3.4= n he's simply a fucking "SELET" man who's attitude like apes or even worst then an apes.
(Opps.. sorry fo all the vulgarities.. but seriously HE deserved it!! I hate him for life! haha. *peragai cap tige siak marsha*. )

4- Clumsiness
4.1= Banging marsha's head session in the car
4.2= Broke my handphone's chain
4.3= Drop of laptop

Today is like soooo very not masha. I think all this happened simply and 100 and 50 percent confirm is because of that fucking "selet"'s sway that passed down to me. *slap his forehead* argh!! duh.. tat bagalap wanna go off aweadi.. i gtg.. continue the poppet session once i reach home aite.. n anyway ELMO!!! i miss u lar sayang.. PEMALAS tau ni elmo.. tdo jer tau kat uma.. tak tau nk dtg skola pe!! bacin!! (=

outz....

2008-04-12T22:56:00.002+08:00

Chocolates??
Shocked. Happy. Miss.
Stop it. Fullstop. Dot. Forget it.

70 bucks??
Bodyshop. Sway. Fish.
Loss. Cry.
Stupid. Bagalap.

Ramen Ten??
VERY HOT. Nice.
Aim. Thanks.

Laydees??
Club. Sorry. Have fun.
Miss. LoveLove.

Tats all fer today peeps.. (=

2008-04-08T19:24:00.003+08:00

lalalala~~ dodododo~~~

haha.

I got my new handphone!! hip hip hoorey...

Nomore pissing off. Nomore banging of phones.

Nomore vulgarities towards phone. Nomore criticising.

Nomore hang of phones.

Nomore nomore n nomore!! yeah...

lurp lurp lurp my bro loads loads ah.. *send.Text= Kisses&huggies* (=

duh.. n yeah.. its oni 2nd day of school, but i started to skip... argh..

WHY? yeah.. cos im still sick.. fish..

i really miss my voice lar sey...

YES! I REALLY DO!!

this is da first time, im sick for tat long..

since 17th march till now..

Gosh!!

Its like bagalap switch aweadi sey..

Sick on and off..

*exhaled*

I guess this is my falling season huh..

Shattered.

but nah.. i'll gather all my strength n stand up strong..

for the love ones.

for the one whom love me trully n sincerely.

coz im sure they love me without wanting or expecting something from me in return.

Pure love!

so yeah...

ACHAACHAKHUAITIN MARSHA!!!

There are still loadsa people love you.... (=

2008-03-19T04:49:00.003+08:00

I just reached home... lalalalalala~ *smileysmiley*
Thank them for cheering me up... love them loads loads..
Okay.. Im soooo love my dad lar sey... haha.
He lend me his car for the whole night..
pe lagikan... kesempatan emas!! haha.
I went shanananana wif bacin cuzie, little pweetyass n 2 giler GAY boy.. haha.
Fetch cuzie from her tuition place at Tamp den went to Sembwg to fetch the 2 gay boy den
back to Bedok fetch my little pweetyass.. wat a long way!! all b'cos of tat bagalap wan's fault lar.. but nah..its kay.. im enjoying it anyway.. (=
Decided to eat at EAST COAST but unfortunately it closed! Then changed plan to eat ice cream at GELARE.. *yummy2* but.. duh!! Its also closed!! bacin nye kedowak tol! den at last, no other choice they decided to chill out at East Coast Mcdonalds *mendak*.. BUT...dodododod0~~ i get to eat tat Turkish Pita Roll!! Although its damn EXPENSIVE n yar never forget tat GATAL nak mampos guy, i really love it!! very da nice lar sey.. *burp2* (=
Little pweetyass start to complain n complain n complain... den there we go, get our ass off from Mc n walk along the beach.. wah.. damn peace n windy... but den something caught my eyes... There she go.. marsha starts to keep asking n asking n asking... till my bacin cuzie get irritated n say "SHUT UP lar n stop asking stupid question can?!" -showing me her coloured middle finger-*mik kau!*haha. but seriously sey... tat thing really atractted me.. nice but yet makes my mind full of questions.. which is tak penting eh marsha.. haha.
alamak.. da nantok plak.. tired n lazy to type more bout it.. da summary of today is tat IM ENOYING MY LIFE NOW TO DA FULLEST , LETTING GO MY PAST N IM TURNING OVER TO A NEW LEAF BABEH.. NOMORE WORRIES NOMORE TEARS NOMORE HURTS..Tats ol for now peeps! (=

4 years plus just gone to da drain

He left it as if its no big deal

so y shud u crack ur own brain

Lets enjoy life n shuffle in da middle of the rain...

haha. *marsha's crapness*

2008-03-14T21:41:00.009+08:00

Supposingly, im curling up my hair today.. but duh!! shortage of 40 bucks.. bacin tol! bcos of tat 40 bucks everything ruined.. BAGALAP!

However, thanks to NUR SADRINA for accompanying me n layan-ing my cerewet-ness n fickled minded-ness. haha. We went for window shopping which end up im spending up my money again.. fish!! gatal hand!! haha. n bcos of tat dundun window shopping i used up my money which ive collected for perming my hair n bcos of tat dundun window shopping oso my heart aching!!! Gosh.. i fall in love wif those bags..FISH.. the GUESS bag ($179)n ARMANI EXCHANGE($369) bag. argh!!! STOP IT EH MARSHA.. U've spent a lot aweadi this month!! *perangai cap tige sak* haha.

2 more days to go lar sey.. haish..

2008-03-13T20:23:00.005+08:00

I went to JB yesterday with my family. Sending my hari raya clothes tailored at LAGENDA Boutique in Angsana. After a long hour discussing bout the design and measuring me, i had a message. A message from tat kecik asking me whether wanna join for the dance for NDP. I was like flying on the sky lar sey!! Yeah..
Of course deh i want as i love this kinda thing!! haha. Love her loads loads. The practice is every Tuesday and Saturday. haha. Though i noe tat i must be mentally n physically prepared as i will be schooling and at the same time have to come for the practice anytime they ask me to and ave to sacrifice my time. so yeah.. haha. I will babeh!!
Yesterday night was my first day practice with them. At first everything was fine n gerek!! however two of them turn me off. I was damn pissed n i dun think i wanna mention bout it. The oni thing i wanna say is just " DONT BE SO PROUD OF YASELF N PRETEND TAT URE THE BEST OF ALL" fuck damn it if u think tat way. No one will respect u eventhough the fact that u can do everything. Theres no need to show off ur damn ass biacth! Whatever it is, im still happy n enjoy the practice babeh, ignoring the two of them (=.

3 more days to go... (=

MARSHA...

2008-03-10T23:44:00.009+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... *shout out loud*

Stupid Me
Stupid Marsha
STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!

Oh Gosh... cant help it.. I really2 miss a lot of things.. as in EVERYTHING...

I miss all da cambodian crew
I miss the P.Ramlee moment whereby we didnt bath every morning n what we oni do is just wash up our face n teeth den straight away go for a morning jog followed by kick boxing n work..
I miss the bangla moment whereby early in da morning we have to do construction work under da freaking hot sun, break da breeks, cabot-ing the trees, carpenting the woods, painting n etc..
I miss the 'i can see u,u can see me moment' too.. haha(=
I miss riding the bike whereby most of them caught into accident.. haha.
I miss shooting using the AK47 gun.. *cool kepe..*
I miss the IN TUNE bar moment whereby all the cambodian crew gone crazy as all of us sing n some of us dance along with this "HOT" chix.. haha. Our faci REALLY ROCK DA WORLD LAR SEY.. Love him loadds2!! haha
I miss the stay up late at night outside the house, being accompanied by a loads of dudun crappy sounds.. wooooolalalalal~~~ *tak penting eh marsha*
I miss "the hide n sick moment between amir n the centipedes" n "smack that moment on fad's head" haha.
I miss BOOM BOOM ROOM n MAHARAJAH... love apple lassi loadds!! Yummy2..
I miss shopping like no one business as i always, what malay say "syok sendrik" haha. I Always like to play this "now u see me now u dont!" game haha.
I miss the fii bagalap n slebet session with ol her weirdo words such as "TONLE SAP" n " CAP BINTANG TIGE KEPE" haha.
I miss all the gurls... oh gosh... i really do!!!
We're like a family di sia..
I just really2 miss miss miss miss miss miss a lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot of things!!
Regreted it a lot for going back first!!! STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID!!!

*HIAK DUSH!! MY FOREHEAD*hmph..

n THANKS EH to MY SIS!! bacin u!!
got the dream aweadi but never inform my parents.. argh... THANKS A LOT!!

-Missing tat slebet bagalap... haha.

-5 more days to go..

-Counting down for the meet up n shisha session with all the cambodian crew...

Full of regrets,
Retarded MarSha..

2008-02-28T15:07:00.002+08:00

I found myself today

I found myself and ran away

Something pulled me back

Voice of reason I forgot I had

All I know is you're not here to stay

But you always used to say

But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up

No, I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

Seen that red light

And it's shining on my destiny

Shining all the time

And I won't be afraid

To follow everywhere its taking me

All I know is yesterday is gone

And right now I belong

To this moment to my dreams

It doesn't matter what people say

It doesn't matter how long it takes

Believe in yourself

And you'll find how

And it only matters how true you are

Be true to yourself

And follow your heart

2008-02-25T23:15:00.002+08:00

SICK!! hate being sick lar deh..

VERY UNCOMFY.. duh...

But nah... Im happy... hheheh.

YUMMY YUMMY!!!

guess wat...

I got an oreocheesecake surprise!!

hm... SEEEEEEEEEEEEDAAAAAAAP!!!

long time didnt eat it..

Thanks dude... appreciated! (=

hm.. 5 more days to go...

hmhm... gonna miss my bed again.. )=

2008-02-24T19:51:00.003+08:00

Sometimes its hard to trust anyone...
Da one tat u trust most will always be unexpectedly da one who betrayed u..
Tats why ppl always say expect the unexpected...
Live in this world as though ure surrounded by loadsa monsters... (=

2008-02-24T18:26:00.002+08:00

There's a lot of ways...
The prob is which one to choose..
or which one is the best?
One, Two or Three?? or no where.. (=

2008-02-17T19:04:00.006+08:00

Why? How?

Tell me this isnt true
Slap me so i can realise that the reality that im facing through
I need u
I want u
PUUH-LEASE tell me what shud i do

SLAP2 SMACK2 marsha's head

wake up wake up BUNBUN's head

This is da fact that u shud faced

Dun pull urself down eventhough ur heart now is half dead

~Looooooooooooooooooooooooooong exhaled....*SIGH*~

How do

marsha really wish one sunny morning when she wakes up,

tis are just a bad dream .

Everthing back to normal like the way it supposed to be.....

Looking away from me,

MaRsHa

2008-02-15T00:45:00.002+08:00

Ferrero Rocher; loved!!

Missed; Confused

Slap my forehead!!!

Wakey wakey MARSHA!!!

Crazy Emotion,

MaRsHa....

2008-02-09T02:48:00.000+08:00

Dear handphone,

Please stop sulking me.. i know i did treated u so badly.. but i love u so much.. cant u see.. Everwhere i go i'll never left u behind EVEN into da toilet okay!! so puuuhlese my dearest handphone, at times like this i would really appreciate the idea of you not crashing down like nobody's business.

Yours sincere,
MaRsHa.

2008-02-07T03:11:00.000+08:00

haish... i wanna shop badly lar sey... i wanna shop... i wanna shop.. i wanna shop... I WANNA SHOP!!!! How do i wish theres such thing as dollars rainning.. n da season fall on the sales season..wohoooo!! I will be the first person sey to be waitting for the first dollars dat drop from the sky.. hohoho. Or.....how do i wish i have a doraemon pocket which whenever i said "KANTONG AJAIB I LOVE2 U MANY2 PUUUHLEASE GIVE ME SOME MONEY..." den... pfffft... theres $1k for me to go to shop... Or....... how do i wish when i wake up.. my handphone ring.. den..

Daddy: sayang, where are u?

Me: at home( with my buruk sexy voice.. haha)

Daddy: hish.. anak dara masih tdo.. tkper2 tido lame2 sikit kay... ayah tau fatheen penat..

Me: hm... okay.... (otak hairan.. da pekene ngan bapak aku)

Daddy: sayang i got surprise for u..

Me: hm...( with tat sexy buruk voice again, but in malas manner)

Daddy: wakey wakey baby gal... watch it for urselves its on ur acessories table..

Me: Malas lar yah.. nk tdo ni penat.. (weird bapak aku ni)

Daddy:NO2.. now sayang..

Me: hm.. japla.. ( wake up with my buruk face n messy hair)

MATE TERBELOLOK as in my eyes opened up very big like a fish ball size...Guess wat i saw.........

CREDIT CARD N $1K ON MY ACESSORIES TABLE!!!

Me: Nape susah2 ni yah...?? fatheen tk mintk ni sume.. kesian ayah.. (padahal2.. haha. manis...)

Daddy: nahmind... ayah aru dpt commission tu.. gi la mandi den gi ajak saper2 teman kau gi shopping kay.. klu tk cukup kai credit card yg ayah tinggalkan tu kay.. klu tk cukup gak, kol ayah ti ayah transfer duit agi..

Me: (kening up2) okay ayah!!! YOU rock are daddy!! luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve u many2 loads2 byk2!!! kayla bye2!! ur baby nk mandi n off to shop!!!!

Daddy: okay!! happy2 habiskan duit ayah kay....

Me: OKAY!!! dada!!!( terkinja2 mcm monyet, joget2,nyanyi)

hehe.. boleh per... hahaa. Okay Marsha da bobal mepeks.... Marsha gone craaaaaaaaazy with her bunbun syndrome...

NGEKNGOK MOOD,

MaRsHa...

2008-02-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

Lies doesnt solve anything
Lies doensnt help even an inch
Lies doesnt makes things right
Even u think tat its for good sake

It takes loadsa of courage to get a trust from sum1
But it tooks oni a sec to destroy it..

2008-02-05T21:31:00.001+08:00

We need da truth to avoid from thousands of questions in our mind..

But why does da truth hurts?

Left unsaid,

MaRsHa

2008-02-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

The word 'SORRY' supposed to be a good thing for everyone
but it doesnt seem to be tat way for me
'sorry' means hurts
'sorry' means no questions
'sorry' means get ready babeh to be fool again
'sorry' is like a pen knife keep slashing da fragile heart

Everytime the phone "ring" scares me
Everytime hearing the voice melt me
Is this God's test for me
If so, God please give the strenght to me

Hard to forget

Hard to let go

But have to accept

The fact that ones dun love or care bout u anymore

Ones do come

Ones do go

Had to overcome

N dun fell anymore

She's hurt

She's stupid

She's always fell weneva love came across

She's been fooled

She did things tat totally not her

She did things tat she never even think tat she cud do or even wanna do

She break her ego

She shred loadsa tears

She put herself damn low

She humiliate herself

She lets others talk or bully her just to stand strong for her love

Unfortunately,

Her love mean nothing to ones

Her love doesnt have any effects to ones

Her love is just like a donut to ones

which its nice to taste but end up become a waste

So please forgive her if she react tis way

She hope u can undertsand wat she's trying to say

Despondent,

MaRsHa...

2008-02-03T00:18:00.001+08:00

Love is always be patient and kind

Love is NEVER rude or selfish or even throw VULGARITIES

It does not take offense and it is not resentful

Love is takes no pleasure in other peopl's sins..but delights in the truth

Love is always ready to trust,to hope,and to endure

Love is whatever comes

Loving him is a dreaming

Being with him is amazing

Having him is a meaning

However holding onto him

knowing that u cant make him happy

n such an irrittating to him

is damn freaking hurting

To him friends is everything

To him marsha is nothing

To him Fatheen Nabeelah is boring

By ol means..

To her,

Its the end of everything

Letting go sum1 precious to u is aching

deep inside feel like dying

but doncha wanna shine back

like the sun shine in da morning

learning to enjoy life to da fullest...
make it as if no one business..
until we feel the happiness..
coz tat's wat we deserve most..

ACHA ACHA KHUAITIN MARSHA!!!!!! (=

Gotta let da spirit be free,

MaRsHa

2008-02-01T13:53:00.000+08:00

okay...HAMLAO!!! Best word to describe everything.(new words i learnt from peeque..haha).

means irritating,bustard,ugly,ngekngok,wack,blur,blank n every dundun things.

Its like "BAGALAP" , "SLEBET" n etc.

"Enjoy. Dance. Fun. Quarrel. Fight.

Misunderstanding. Wanna keep my face inside my pocket.

walk off. Msgs. Call. Cry. Apologies. DUNNOE.

REALLY DUNNOE."

Miss. Yes.No. Love. Yes.No.

Confusion.

Marsha's Totally Out of her mind per.

2008-01-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE HELL YOU ALL WANT?!?!
Arent ya’ll feel da guilt of whatever ya’ll have done
Aren’t ya’ll feel the pain that u give to someone
Arent ya’ll think or even appreciate whatever that they had sacrifice for you
Arent ya’ll feel the hard time they’re facing through
FUCK damn it!!
Da answer is simply NO right?!
WHY?!
BCOS A DAMN FARKING BUSTARD LIKE ALL OF YOU
JUST SIMPLY DUN HAVE FEELINGS!!
HEARTLESS!!
Did you all deserve to call a human being after all?!
when YOU YOURSELVES don’t know how to be sensitive toward others
or even try to treat them nice even though u didn’t like them or love them anymore.

Every tears that rolled down from their eyes
Is NOT bcos of they ‘re weak
Or bcos they want a sympathy from you
Its simply bcos of the love, the hurts n the feeling of “MUST SWALLOW EVERY SINGLE SHITS THAT U GAVE TO THEM”
But WHY ya’ll are taking advantage of it?!
Or sometimes even scold them for crying
Doncha ya’ll know that their tears is their strength
Strenght for them to force themselves to be strong
N force themselves to accept YOUR shits
Eventhough they know that ure not worth at all to be cried off or even to be with
Doncha all noe why they still hold onto u even they know they are NOTHING to you
You want them to understand you n put themselves into your shoes
N the stupid thing is they DID OKAY
THEY DID!
They did try to put themselves into your shoes
or even try to adapt with every single changes from u
but why cant u understand them even a lil bit
Maybe now ya’ll feel nothing or affected by all with their words n tears,
All their sacrifices and effort,
You can be proud to all of ur peers
That u’ve conquered that girl’s heart
Easily make them fall for you
Melt with every single words tat come out from you
Easily forgive u with only a SORRY even they know that u said it just for da sake of escaping to answer thousand questions from them
Making fooled of them
Making fun of their love that they gave to u
They cant do anything
Or even utter a single words
They just keep it to themselves
N licked every single spit that u gave them
BUT one day for sure
Ya’ll will get the same treatment that ya’ll give to them
Coz GOD isn’t cruel
We live in KARMA
Wat goes around comes around
On that point of time you will regret
Will cry out load
But of cos Ya’ll will never show it to them or even your peers
WHY?!
Simply bcos tat Ya’ll ARE SUCH AN EGO BASTARD!!
By then, deep inside us
We can see the regrets,
The tears in u,
But unfortunately, we will just look at ya’ll n smile….
Coz we know we did our level best n we ‘re DONE WIF YOU..

Get ur ass off from us,

MaRsHa..

2008-01-22T09:34:00.000+08:00

GREAT!! I MISS MY UT FOR TODAY!! MARSHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*slap YOUR forehead million times*

Fish!! This is my last chance to enhance my grade but fuck i miss it!!

HOW COULD I MISSED MY UT!!!! MARSHA!!!! ure SOOOO DAMN FREAKING STUPID!!!

*sob**sob*

ARGH!! n now be prepared marsha for repeating tis module on ur 2nd year!! FUCK!!!! GOOD FOR U!!! PADAN MUKE!!

*long exhaled**sob**cry my eyes out**shed tears**shout**BAWL* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!

however listen to tiz... My zooians' voice... (=

stoink bagalap mood,

MaRsHa

2008-01-20T00:49:00.001+08:00

Today is my cuzin happiest day..

Congrates for her..

Hope her marriage will last and happy forever..

For me,

Today is the end of everything..

Today will be the most memorable day for me..

This date will be da date tat i will hate most..

Padan ngan muke aku..

haha

GAME OVER!!

Im totally down, down to da max..

I have no say..

No words..

speechless..

The beat is getting slower

My heart is HALF DEAD!

IM DONE!

Nomore regrets..

Nomore tears..

Nomore heart pain..

Nomore worries..

Nomore anything..

Nomore nomore nomore..

Coz i know ive done my part..

Jaded,

MaRsHa~~YuL~~

2007-12-30T18:02:00.000+08:00

Sadly we all know that nothing can last forever
The feelings that I got when I looked into your eyes was the best I ever felt ever
I looked at you contently
But u seems to stare right on through me and break my heart on the way
I cant believed that I was such a fool to believe u could like a girl like me
A girl that sees u imperfect person like everybody else perfectly
I just wish i could see u everyday or even just hear ur voice for only a min everyday
Instead of killing me everytime you treat me me like im NOTHING
We barely talk and ignore each other
But we both know it wasn’t supposed to end that way
The funny thing is fairytales always end perfectly
And most people can have a fairytale ending
But why pick on me??
I think love is just really like a ghost sey.. REALLY!!
Everyone talk bout it, but very few have actually seen
And I think im one of those rare people who has
Actually after all of the ups n downs
for u not loving me ( which I think) back
Is REALLY REALLY BEING SELFISH
I don’t care what people think of me
Or even if they bully me because I love u
cos thinking of YOU although u always hurt me
is enuf for me to make myself smile..
No one sees what I see in you
Cos they see u as one of not their type
But to me YOU are the almost perfect guy
Who is totally my type
n wen im with u
no1 else had exist EXCEPT YOU n ME..
BUT TODAY,
TODAY, 29.12.07,
Our supposingly 4 years 2 months monthlysary,
YOU had wiped out my dreams,
My Trust,
And undervalued MY LOVE.
My heart is numb
Being very foolish
wen u’re being boorish
not being harsh
just want YOU to realize
For everything YOUR SLAVE has done for you
the least you can do is to give her unconditional love
as she has given to you..
coz ,AGAIN,
YOU should know,
her love and sacrifice doesn't mean forever
when she had finally realised..
you don't worth her love,
she will leave u for the one whowell-deserved her love..
n I repeat tis phrase AGAIN..for all GUYS out there,
DON’T EVER LEAVE THE 1 YOU LOVE FOR THE 1 U LIKE
COZ 1 DAY, THE 1 U LIKE WILL LEAVE U FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE..

2007-12-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Something good happened today
He wrote some letters

It kinda hard to understand

I tot I'm part of his plans

But now I think I'm in his heart

I don't know where to start
So much I need to say
So sad but true

For me there's only him

Been crying since the day
The day he came back from Taiwan ..

I wonder could it be

When I was dreaming 'bout you dear

You were dreaming of me

Said that I meant a lot to u n im ur everything..

Did I lose my love to the da right one??

Im sure i do, you know I really really do..

I wanna talk to him

But whenever he is with his friends

He keeps trying to pretend

But I already see

The way he feels for me
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
Im confused
Wonder when things will be wonderful like b4..

SIGH..

ANIWAE...To “ZOOianzz” thanks fer making me smile.
and yar to tat BACIN thanks fer teaching me shuffle.. haha
I guess my shuffle is still like taik! Haha.
But I will try harder..
Yes I will!! (=

N to da one hu think im referring tis to,
Don't say you love me

You don't even know me

If you really want me

Then STOP acting like tis
Here's how I play
There's where you stand

Here's what to prove

To get any further than where it's been
NOT by forcing

I'll make it clear
not gonna tell you twice

Take it slow
you keep pushing me
n I REALLY HATE IT!

2007-11-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

Is it hard to be sincere?? is it hard to just tell me the truth if he said he still really love me n never think that we had ever break up.. is it damn bloody hard?! argh.. im so frustrated.. I feel like my heart being stabbed several times with a knife sey wen everytime wen i ask him, he will lied.. i knew he lies.. i just can feel it.. n tis time my feel become stronger n actually its proven true wen other ppl told me.. the most thing tat dissapoint me is tat, i knew it from other people's mouth but NOT FROM HIM.. If he really still treated me as his GIRLFRIEND, as wat he said, y he didnt tell me anything bout wat had happened? why?!?!?! i feel so useless and ashame wen other ppl ask me about him n all i can say is '' huh?? really?? i dunnoe.." argh!! Fish! i feel soo stupid, unappreciated n being fooled.

argh all tis while,wat i feel is true...what shud i do? im totally blank.. am i supposed to just pretend that as if i noe nuts about it.. i even hint him but he still trying his best to cover it.. everytime i ask, all he will answer me are MOST of them are lies.. the "BEST" part is i noe tat every single answer from him is a lie but i cant say anything.. i can say NOTHING!! argh..this monday.. yar this monday i really hope the truth will come out.. but am i really ready for it?? am i really strong to face it wen i get to know the truth INFRONT OF MY EYES??? god.. pls gimme strength.. wonder when tis will end..

Aniwae thanks ELYANA.. Thanks fer the bear.. heart u sis....

2007-11-27T17:40:00.000+08:00

I miss him.. haish.. everytime my home phone rang i was expecting it was from him.. but hais..

gosh.. its really hard den wat i thought n expected.. i still love him soo much.. my love havent fade even an inch.. There's no words can defined my love fer him.. but did he feel da same way? did he miss me wen im gone? will he still love me as much as i love him wen im gone?? so many question playing in my mind.. n im really doubt so he did.. I just cant imagined every single day of mine without him.. i miss him so much till i dun care if he screamed or even throw vulgarities on me.. by oni hearing his voice, i forget all my anger towards him.. haish.. why must it end tis way..nah.. Marsha shudnt have tis kinda feeling nimore rite.. Marsha have to let him go.. YOU have to let him go.. argh.. MARSHA HAVE TO BE STRONG... he love his frens more den he loves u.. he didnt need u nimore.. MARSHA HAS TO JUST ACCEPT THAT FACT!!

jaded,

MaRsHa..

2007-11-24T22:21:00.000+08:00

Haha. I woke up damn late today. guess wat time?? haha 4PM larsey!! haha BUSUK MARSHA... haha. At least yesterday a good day fer me.. eventhough there's lil shit here n there but overall of it is REALLY ROCK babeh!! yuhoooo.. Enjoying life to da fullest... its time for wakey wakey from shittos moment marsha... (= wohooo...

Thanks to mummy.. love my mom to da infinity lar sey.. She's soooooooo da BOHOT gerek yesterday.. We went fer SHOPPING yesterday.. woho.. SHOPPING WITH MAMA!! cool..n yar.. she bought fer me loadsa things sey.. n tiz is some of it.. yuhooo... soooooo da happy.. BOHOT BOHOT HAPPY!! (= (=

heart mommy loads loads fer tiz.. haha leh gitu eh...

n yar.. yesterday fuhyo.... we go shananana...blablablablablablabla... yeah2... sean paul... nanana.. STOP IT EH MARSHA..hehe. I LUUUUUUUURRRRVEE them a loads..!!REALLY!!

-MOMMY N AYAH
-THREESOME
-KAK AYU
-ANA
-ZOUL
-NAFIZ
They really rock my world lar sey.. hehe. Thanks lovey dovey BAGALAPZZZ... huggies.huggies.kisses.kisses. (=

Wanna share some mepeks photos..

tis is nafiz's jacket n shoe!! so damn big.If u look in real life, i really look like a "GORGEOUS" CLOWN lar sey.. BURUUUUK!! wakaka. ni kerja nafiz lar.. haha

n tis is taken by tat giler Zoul.. haha.. Its Yuhtee, nafiz n da very far one is ME.haha.

ABANDONED CHILD. haha.

bubbly,me

2007-11-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

Today is another crummy day fer me. Someone that i ever look high on had humiliated me. I broke down like hell. Sob like one stupid idiotic girl inside the train otw meeting yuhtee. Zoul called me, yeah he n yuhtee were shocked i cried that badly in public. haha. "FUNNY" rite.. shittos. argh..nahmind.. i'll be fine.. yeah..i'll be fine.. Let that someone hurt me to da fullest, if that's da oni way for tat someone to take a revenge of me. It will always has a karma rite. So yar.. Hope he's happy n enjoying hurting n humiliating me..
n yar.. i cant believed that i had a hypocrite fren. haha. REALLY awesome!! COOL rite.. I think no one can be trusted nimore now right. shrugged lar.

Thanks to them, my beloved tutun gurls.. haha They cheered me up.. heart them sgt2 many2 n loads2 sey.. Here's the pics of us after the so called "feel the pain and cry together moment" ends. "HAHA". FISH!..

THREESOME

KaKaK aYu..

MaRsHa..

YuhTee..

SallY..

THE CRAZINESS OF US....

2007-11-21T20:20:00.000+08:00

"i never thought u would be sum1 like this..... Looks SURE can be decieving....."

Wat does MELT meant sia.. im so pissed! I dun understand why he like keep talking behind me.. I really REALLY dun understand why MELT cant tell me straight forward instead of putting it on his MSN’s nick! Argh. WTH. We argued bcos of his words oso n now he added da salt somemore. ((Looks SURE can be decieving.....))deceiving?????? Means wat? I cheat him? Im being dishonest? WAT SIA! I didn’t lied to him n yesterday I even clarified everything CLEARLY. IF im being DISHONEST, I will like just take advantage of him from the day that I knew tat he likes me. BUT I DIDN’T OKAY! N wat? He even has a gut to say tat as if im cheap n can even say tat im deceiving him. ARGH!! Tell me, whose the fish will never get angry n pissed off sia if other ppl said to them such thing especially wen ure a GIRL.?? Argh .

Gosh..I really need someone to cry on. I miss him. I miss him. I really need him right now. God plz help me.. I just cant stand all this.. wen will I get my own happiness.. Even though I pretend that I've moved on..he will always in my mind..I never found the words to say..his the one I think about each day n I know no matter where life takes me to, apart of me will always has him.. Its hurting.. Its damn freaking hurting..Its easy fur ppl to say but they will oni noe how hard it really is when they’re in my shoes lar sey.. haish.. I noe there's no use looking back or wondering.. coz he didn’t find for me.. which means he have no heart for me nimore rite.. tats wat my close fren told me.. so yar.. im really trying my best to stay strong and accept the fact.. but still I can't find ways to let him go.. SIGH.

Forlorn,

Marsha..

2007-11-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

Shits…I have already made one step ahead.. shittos! I feel like im dreaming rite now.. I cant believed tat fatheen nabeelah really did this.. fish! I really cant imagine how it would be without him..4 freaking years.. just throw in da bin just like tat.. fcuk! Yar.. to some of them 4 years is just a number but to me its seriously killing.. I swear im trying my best to act as if everything its fine but actually its NOT, NOT AT ALL… keep myself occupied trying to always hangout with frens n threesome but fish I just cant get over it.. I really feel that my heart is already half dead.. I felt that Im just a statue that alive with no feelings.. Let other people do whatever they wants to me I just fuck care bout myself.. I know wat im doing now is definitely wrong but I still let things go on n on.. I dunnoe why maybe coz im lost!! Yar.. REALLY lost!! Im hurt to da fullest till I dun even bothered how other people care n love me.. Its just not me!! Everyday and every night I just imagine tat I cud hold him tight n make sure tat everythings stays right but now I have no right.. lies lies lies lies lies… hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt.. is wat I get.. I keep smilling n keep myself silence just trying my level best to cover up the sadness in me.. but till when.. till wen?!?! I feel so depressed right now!!! N yar.. AGAIN I hurt other people feelings.. MARSHA SO CRUEL!! Fuck. Im sori.. im really sori.. yar!! If ure reading this blog, Im really sori.. I really really didn’t meant it.. n I really hope u cud understand me n forgive me.. im sori.. im really sori.. sori..sori.. sori… sori.. yar.. im referring to YOU..

IM MOVING ON... PUHLEASE DONT COME BACK TO ME..(RESEND)

2007-11-03T14:47:00.000+08:00

IM MOVING ON... PUHLEASE DONT COME BACK TO ME..

Guys,do u realize that the girl who is holding onto u now is PERFECT in her own special way?The way she laughs..The way she sleeps..The way she sulks..The way she smiles..The way she cries..The way she thinks of you..The way she tries to please you...The way she sacrifices for you..The way she wants to understand you..The way she's lovin you with all her heart!Always remember that.She can always get up and walk away,getting someone else who can loves her more.There might be someone out there..who is willing to love her more than you are loving her now,fulfill her every needs and loves heras much as she loves you.or maybe loves her more than she loves you..but definitely lovin hermore than u do!For all you know,there's already might be someone out there wooing her,be it from a distance or as a gentleman..but she is rejecting,coz she believes in perfect love..for whom she will share her joys n tears together..for whom she will promise to be faithful..for whom she will commit herself into you..To her,you're her perfect love!Understand that.Guys,you might be thinking that the love is fading..you can't find the freshness between the two of you..everything is stale to you now..everywhere seems the same to you..you said "been there done that".so u went n look for another...imagine this..Behind her back,you're hugging and kissing another girl..When you see her today,u do the same..but you still see love in her eyes..while others are just some flings.Do you feel the hurt?Can you feel the guilt?for you must know..every new thing brings an excitement to us..only to find the boredoom n sick of itafter we're being so used together..She might not be feeling the hurts now,coz she won't know..She might be feeling something's not right,coz she can sense..but she's still holding on to you,not becoz she's stupid,not becoz she's dumb,not becoz she's a fool..but bcoz..she believes u will not break her full-hearted heart..she believes u will not let her tears flow..she believes u will keep your promises..she believes this is love!She loves you not because you are pleasant looking,sweet talker,or that you have 5cs..She loves youfor who you are.Your every touch,every word you say,everything you do.She was born here inperfect..everyone does!Only what she wants from u is almost perfect!and she knows she can't do it alone...it needs two hands to clap...Guys,For her,being the upmost girlfriend is to endure your every moves,your every moodswings,your every words..and actions.Even dealing with the most unbearable painshe will bear it for your sake..but once she knows that the time is up,she will leave you..with the most unforgettable painful memoriesu both had,from the sweetest to the very last moment she had to leave,bcoz of ur doings..Guys,Cherish and appreciate your girl.Don't break her fragile heart.She is the only one who can loves you this way.You won't wanna regret letting go of that special girl you have.For everything she has done for you,the least you can do is to give her unconditional loveas she has given to you..coz u should know,her love and sacrifice doesn't mean forever,when she had finally realised..you don't worth her love,she will leave u for the one whowell-deserved her love..Guys,dun ever leave the one u love,for the one u like..coz one day..the one u like will leave u,for the one they love...

2007-11-02T15:37:00.000+08:00

Gosh.. WTH is wrong with me.. Im soo confused.. why must get hurt over n over again??

Shittos!! I know i love Jomlang but he didnt treasure n keep hurting me. In another hand i dunnoe how i feels towards Melt but he treated me nice. At first everything like VERY FINE. Im happy although im facing a hard time wenever i saw Melt. But everything turn out to be like FISH wen Melt started to make one step further. He confessed followed by treating n react VERY DIFF from usual. I feel so damn scared which ME,MYSELF ALSO DUNNOE WHY, when a sudden change from him. Tat scares to death!! till i broke down into tears. CRAZY ME! i know.

Im soooo freaking feel damn bad for wat ive said to Melt yesterday. But seriously i dunnoe if i really mean it onnot. All i know is that i feel sad and heart pain after this changes. FISH! hate it!

He said he love me blablabla.. I wonder is tat easy for a guy to say tat he love us and just in another mins later he said he will throw all da feelings away from him. Is tat wat love is, to them?? n why am i supposed to feel so freaking diffly and sad now?? shrugged.shrugged.shrugged. However for what i know is, if i love that person i will never give up and stay strong facing every suingle hurt that the person give me. But why they didnt think the same way as me. Im refering to THOSE PERSON whom always said he loves me.

Im scared. Too scared. Cant they understand me?? haish.. gosh.. today like freaking pathetic. I think its really a sway day for me. FISH!! hurt. hurt.hurt. Melt in da same group with me n we practically DIDNT talk to each other or even see each other face! Im soo confused with wat i feel. yar.. Its my fault.. But as i said i dunnoe whether i really meant every single words i said to him yesterday.. What makes me damn freaking sad is that he make me feel myelf damn low. I even said im sori but he just ignore it. n even say, PRETEND THAT IM NOT EXIST.. wen im trying my best to make think come back as per normal..WTF siak!

Is that the way a guy settle things up?!

Seriously n sincerely i long time NEVER feel this way towards other guys. The First guy i ever feel was Jomblang and which is like FOUR DAMN FREAKING YEARS AGO... shittos!! why i feel this way again sia... I feel i was just a victim of THEM..

Im sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.

sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. sad.sad.sad.sad. DAMN FREAKING SAD!!! jaded. argh!!

Nah2.. i shouldnt be sad rite.. Why should i wen the person themselves heck care and dun bother at all bout how i feel.. yeah!! so yar.. haish.haish.haish.

dilemma thoughts...

MARSHAYUL.

2007-09-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

Today i skipped school.. y?? Sick!! haish... 2 days aweadi but still havent recover yet..

hmhm.. thats doesnt really matter.. wats really bothering me is HIM.. I dunnoe why i feel like wanting him to be always beside me.. but nah.. hes not there for me.. didnt bother at all about me.. can still shouted at me somemore.. I dunnoe until when i can endure all this.. untill when i have to swallow every single shits that he gave me.. 24/7 He said hes busy.. i tried to understand but people around me keep saying that it was only his reasons for not spending time with me.. is it true?? nah.. it musnt b true rite.. but why recently he kept breaking up his promises? why recently he kept lying to me?? i dun get it..DOes he really treasure me and love me as i am towards him?? Is love this hurt??

2007-09-12T00:30:00.000+08:00

Why is it so awful? Gosh.. Am i too sensitve or what.. haiz.. Today supposingly HE n me meeting SHE n SHE's boyfriend. It should be a happy day but everything turn out diffly from what i expected. Dissapointment. Speechless. Tears. Hurts. That what i feel today.

Why am i really looking foward for today?? There's 4 reasons...

1- Meeting HIM.

2- Miss HIM to da max.

3- Wanna give him a surprise.

4- Wanna prove to SHE tat what SHE thinks about him is wrong n that HE's aweadi changed.

Sigh. I've never meet him for 3 freaking weeks sey!! which make me going insane, missing him like crazy lar sey. As he said he's busy with the commision event thinggy. Whereas on weekends he had a part time job. haish. argh. Then after all, i was okay with it since he promised me that he will meet me on Tuesday as in TODAY.

2nd sept was his birthday and we cant go out n celebrate it together as i said earlier due to his part time job. The birthday present that i gave was not a suprise for him as he aweadi knows earlier that im gonna buy for him the psp. Therefore i was thinking of something to surprise him. I love seeing him smile n love the way he react wen he's happy. Damn cute!

At first i was thinking of celebrating it with the threesometwosome but then they all cant make it. So the plan changed. WE will be meeting SHE n SHE's boyfriend instead of them. This means i will be making the surprise thinggy on my own. Nothing much can do on my own rite.. so i planned and decided to oni cook for him Nasi Pataya (as i eva promised him that i will cook for him) n bake for him an oreocheesecake.

As planned, today i woke up really damn early. Do house chores den cook for him. Coz HE will be meeting me first at Tamp arnd 1 b4 meeting THE COUPLE at Dhoby Ghout. Everything has aweadi prepared. Time for me to take a bath but den my hp rang. Its him. HE scolded me for not picking up his calls which i didnt noticed that actually i got 19 missed calls. After that he said " I cant meet u today. Can u plz tell them we change it to 2mrw?coz i have to go back to camp." . That point of time i felt like my chest heaved and fell with each breath i took. I was really devastated. Then i said "nahmind i'll still meeeting them. Its k if u cant" den i just hang up. I noe im being rude to just hang up like tat but Gosh. Oni God knows how i really feel sey. Just imagine u put a lot of effort n everything has already prepared n ure really cant wait to meet the one u love den the one u loved just cancel it without feeling any guilt. argh. Really hate tiz kinda feelings. Shittos! Then i started to cry like hell. STUPID MARSHA!!

I insist to still meet THE COUPLE. The meeting is actually 2pm but the showed themsleve up at 3pm. Thanks to them!duh.. I feel like wanna keep my face inside my handbag sia when they ask me where's HE? haish.. y must that stupid NS called him last minute?? HATE NS TO DA CORE!! n y must ol this happend to me wen I wanna change other people's bad view about him and wanna prove them that HE changed but end up im humiliating myself. Shittos! argh. Speechless.

At night when i reached pasir ris, i called him n shouted at him words that i shudnt said. I oso dunnoe y. Unable to contain my emotions, i felt my eyes clouding over.Then i straight away hang up the phone. Then HE keep calling me after that. Pitied him sey then i picked up. HE said he's in the cab otw to my house. I was almost choked at that point n my tears cant stop rolling down. Haish..

It was 10 PM, i still at the block near my house. Then he came n said he's sorry n wiped off my tears. He gave me a warm hug. That point of time all kinda feelings that i felt before gone just like that. I dunnoe y i easily melt n 4gif HIM. People said im too soft-hearted.. is it true?? shrugged. Love is crazy!

2007-08-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

MARSHA WAS LATE AGAIN TODAY!!! haha.Reached sch at 11+PM sey!! SOOO THE EARLY... hehe.. ni aru org cakap pelajar misali lakan... wakaka.

Niwae haiyoh.. Today like very very very the boring to da max to the fullest to the infinity lar sey!!! fuuh. Juz imagine only Adelin, Nana, n me were malay... tat kecoh ZIZIP, Busuk PQ, Bacin AYU n Makcik Kueh tart never come today. BAGALAP THEM!! hmph.. luckily got my luply2 Adelin, Nana, Felicia n Laureen if not MAMPOS(dead) sey!! haha.

n.. yar.. supposingly today im fasting to pay back the previous fasting month.. BUT then.......hehe... KROOK KROOK KRUUK KRUUK.. the sounds then started to begin.. hehe.My stomach naughty lar sey. keep yelling, asking me to feed them.. hehe. REALLY2 CANNOT THE TAHAN sey!!hehe. Then decided to buke, as in go n eat, on da 2nd break.. den haizh... so sway lar today.. haiz...they all eaten aweadi.. do u believe that i went for my "breakfast" at causewaypoint all by myself?? n yar.. i really did.. hmph. pitied me sey.. haha. n.. as usual i cant finish my meal.. hehe. Then after tat bought donut for that ADELIN KUCING... ahaha. They all get addicted with the munchy donut aweadi.. especially with the OREODONUT!! yummy2.. hehe. The Munchy donut should thank n gimme some commision sey for promoting their donuts to ppl!! haha. Mepek tak layan eh marsha.. haha.But seriously2.. for ppl that havent try should GO N TAKE A BITE NOW!!! before all being grab by MARSHA!! haha. seriously it damn freaking nice!! Yummy shummy mummy!!

Besides that today i got something to shout out here.... For frens that called themselves a "TRUE FREN" rite.. puhlease ehk... stop ur lies n being such a hyprocrites!! Frens wont talk bad behind a fren back.. fren wont lie to their own frens.. n fren dont act NICE infront of a fren!!! BAGALAP YOU!! Mepekz ar!

Niwae 1st Semester gonna end soon!! Haiyoh... Heard 2nd semester we'll be changing class n tiz means changing and have to adapt with the new frens.. hm.. oklar.. Kinda fun to have a new frens.. But STILL!! gonna miss all the RETARDED GIRLS sey.. hm.. HEART THEM MANY2..

2007-08-17T13:46:00.000+08:00

Loving him is a meaning, being with him is amazing, having him is everything.. but holding on wif him knowing tat he's unhappy being wif me is damn freaking hurting.. Juz want him to b happy coz seeing him happy makes me smile although its killing.. To him friends and his things are everything.. To him marsha is nothing except only a burden for him.. To him Fatheen Nabeelah is boring.. By all means.. but 4 HIM to know.. to her HE'S everything n there's nthg can change this fact..

She just dunnoe y she still love him a lot no mater how much he hurt her ! She's tries her best to forget him n make herself occupied but still! can't get over it..really dunnoe how to not to think about him at all sey.. sigh. Jaded.

She really miss the old time of them.. The "KENTAL", "SLENGER" n "MepeK yet Cute" moment of them.. Those moment really makes her smile when she think back.. haha. Although it was kinda "KENTAL", but she feels very secured with her relationship at that point of time.. If giving her a choice to choose to live in her "Kental" time or now.. She would rather choose to live in her kental time back.. How do she wish the time can be rewind back... hmhm..

These were the pictures taken in our "KENTAL, SLENGE,MEPEK YET CUTE" zaman. haha.

haha.. do u believe tat tiz was wat we look like last time.. really like a nerdy slenger dundun!! haha.

n tiz was our 1ST DATE!! ahhaha

@ Our favourite eating place

LONG JOHN SILVER (=

Taken in Bugis

Tis is the 1st pic we kept b4 we eva take a pic together.. haha.

The first pic i edited in 2004..

HIM in da past few years...

HER in da past few years...

N...Now....

Miss all those moment lar sey!! haish....

Hurt 2 da fullest,

Marsha..

2007-07-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

Im very2 down. Dats the oni thing i can say. Dun feel like blogging today. Just wanna show this pics. How do i wish tat the happiness in the pics below will last forever.

*JADED*

2007-07-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

Its 1.49 p.m!! and i didnt do a single shit yet! haha. seriously today's probem statement is like shit. really dun understand. Not only me, THE WHOLE CLASS were slacking. Didnt do the ppt at all! haha. BUSUK them! haha.

So boring.Got nthg to do so as per normal lar i go online SHOPPING!!! hehehe. n im really gone crazy over all the bags and acessories!!! i wanna buy!!!!!!!! hehe. n... IM BUYING THIS BAG... hehehe.

COOL RITE... hehe I LOVE IT!!!

wanna see what the other things that gonna be my next wish lists ??? hehehe.. see below...

SGD $80

SGD$88

SGD$67

SKINNY JEANS

SGD$ 40

SGD$36

Okay2. I think im gonna be crazy over ol tiz tinggy.. haha. DADDY!!!! I want dollars puhleeeessssh...

kay2 MARSHA STOP IT!!! haha

2007-07-25T14:00:00.001+08:00

So damn bored lar today. Got BF oso like dun haf 1. sigh. Heart pain is all i get in return. Sometimes i dunnoe who am i to him. shrugged.I love him so much till i dun care that actually im hurting myself. Am i too demanding for him?? Am i wrong asking him to treat me nice and change for the good?? or maybe i think im putting too much hopes on him. SIGH. Juz dun wanna mention much bout tiz. sigh.

To LAUREEN!!! BAGALAP you. thanks for the pics in ya blogs! hahaha. Delete la. Ugly me sey. haha. Tiz bagalap laureen actually took my pic while i was fell asleep in class yesterday!! UGLY TO DA MAX!! Shy la sey. haha, AGAIN they caught me sleeping while the faci was explaining in the meeting 2. hahahaha.THANKS AR!! haha.

GO N DELETE IT PUHLEASE!!! (=

Hm.. cant wait to go home.. wanna SLEEP!! hehe.

*jaded MaRsHa*

2007-07-24T00:22:00.005+08:00

Cant deny BUCUK really knows how to make me melt and smile again.. haiz... ANGRY with him.. really HATE2 him!! haha.wink.wink. Thanks for trying to convince and prove to me, my dearest bucuk... (= Thanks for the ring... plz stop irritate n hurt me nimore aite!!

HEART BUCUK LOADS LOADS!!!

A PRESENT FROM MY DEAREST BUCUK........

LOVE IT !!!!

2007-07-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hm... firstly ppl, sorry for the late updates.. (= (= you all must be soooo KPO n miss me rite… especially NANA n LAUREEN… kan? Kan? Hehehe. OKla…. Here we go…..

Recently was a very tiring day for me. I dun know what I did till feel like very lethargic and wanna sleep everytime when I got nothing to do. Hehe. N today I laugh too much till my mouth feel like being stretched and nearly wanna tear!! haha(BEDEK SEY). U know what.. Juz now I can even fell asleep when faci explaining. Actually I tried my best okay not to sleep but my eyes sooo stubborn insist to close. hehe. But hey.. At least i have the effort kay to look infront and pretend that as if im concentrating to what faci’s talking and so called being a GOOD STUDENT.hehe padahal padahal.. SOOO busuk marsha. Hehe. malu aku. Luckily just now only Lydia saw my BELO-NESS when i nearly hit my head to my laptop. Haha. Ah.. kay tats not all.. we just now watched POCONG 2 movie in class. Den…….heheh. This wat happened. Read tiz:

“and,Marsha.. rabak ah kao. kaki aku skali kao grab. hahaa.and then got this one part,the ghost appeared and she shouted.and i oso shouted all thanx to her eh,notbcos i saw the ghost.-_-jantung aku almost flying la she…” copied from NANA 's blog.

Hehe. Sorila nana…. Hehehe. Tats what a fren for rite.. aku takut, aku pelok kaki kau klu kau takut, kau jerit name aku tige kali t kau tak takut agi. Hehe. Kay im toking craps again.. NO LINK! Hehe. But seriously tat movie really BAGALAP movie sey. Can get heart attack sia watch tat movie. Stupid director who created that kinda movie lar. Hehe. Bad marsha. Oh yar.. n just now we solve our problem statement “CREATIVELY” hehe. The problem statement is like, how to reduce human traffic at woodlands as woodlands is flooded with US, the RP’s students. Hehe. N u know what i suggested?? Hehe to have a travelator under tunnel from Woodlands MRT station to RP and dat ZIZIP giler suggested to make and LRT and u noe where's da LRT’s track?? Its from one of the garden behind a blk away from our school and its travel OVER THE SECONDARY SCHOOL TO RP’s BUSTOP!!! Gilerkan!! Haha. tats y.. bleh eh LRT jalan atas skola. Canggih siol!! haha Too much of imagination lar tiz untie.. haha. Or maybe too much of eating sui mai tats y her brain retarded like tat. Hehe.

Okay guys!!! Today im soooooooooooooooooooooo veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery da sangat2 da banyak2 HAPPY TO DA CORE!! Hehe. What language I used ehkk?? Hehe. Its a Rojak language!! Huhu. Hm… kay2.. u noe y im happy?? Heehe.
Firstly MY BADAK coming back tomorrow!!! Weeeeeeeeeee.. mish mish mish him loads loads.
Secondly it is FRIDAY!! What does it means?? It means no school 2mrw!! Hehe. LOVE LOVE Friday sooooo much!! Can SLEEP!! Hehe.
Lastly because I watched HARRY POTTER with THREESOME!! Heheh. Its been sooo long sey didn’t hang out with them. Although the story is soooooo da lame(Malay word) till i think my butt getting flate like tat, sitting in da cinema, 3 hours babe!! but I really enjoy it. Hehe. Mepek movie but yet oklah… hehe. NO comment. (actually i don’t really understand da movie.. kwang3..hehe). My both carzy cuzins lar who like it. They even read Harry Potter book!! Sooooooooo da semangat sey!! Hehe.

Hm… oklar.. i think i type very long already. Enuf marsha enuf. STOP TALKING!!! Hehe. Peequee also said i talk soo much. Non stop. N i think yar.. Marsha talking too much. Haha. But i just cant accept She called me anjing laut,Busuk and nenek kebayan! Bagalap hui tan laoshu her!! Hehe. By all means... i heart her and all The Retarded friends many2!! KISSES FOR THEM… hehe.

2007-07-11T21:26:00.000+08:00

hmhm... just now i saw TUNTUN's fren!! i was just had a dream bout tat tuntun n now i met his fren coincidently! pheeeww.. wats the link ehk?? pe makne ehk??hmhm.. TAKDER MAKNE!! haha. but yar..everythings fine juz now. Hes wit ha galfren approach me which i didnt expect to b tat way.. Its just tat i feel smthgs not rite wen i think back bout da dream i had. haha. seriously sey.. hopefully it was just an unmeaningful dream lar sey.. nthg more. It really scare me la sia.

To YOU. Plz understand tat IM ATTACHED!! plz stop pestering and forcing me to hear wateva u wanna say. Im not being mean or wat.Tis is for ur own good kay. juz puuhlease wake up and accept the fact. I dun wanna make things any worse as i told u soo many times right. I really really really love ayul. Bout u n me it was just a pass plz dun mention bout it nimore. n favour puuuuhhhleease STOP waitting for me. Its not worth!! seriously!

What a day for me.. sooo many thing had happened today. Jus dun wanna mention it all here.sigh.Jaded. How do i wish ayul is here wif me, hugging me and tell me "syg.. everything will be fine.." haiz.. i miss HIM a lots lar sey!! seriously.. I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM!!! I REALLY WANT HIM BADLY.. )=

okay now i think i REALLY need my drug!!! I WANT OREOCHEESECAKE PUUUHHLESSSHH.....

Oreocheesecake,
MaRsHaYuL....

Late Again!!!

2007-07-09T12:52:00.000+08:00

Duh... IM LATE!!! again!!! and today is my communication module.. bagalap tol ar!! VERY ANGRY!! i cant skip nimore sia.. i oni allowed to skip twice.. n da 2 days gone aweadi. tiz is my 3rd day.. BAGALAP!!! *sigh* hmhm.. mummy starts her trumpet aweadi.. hmph! aiyoh... 2mrw MUST go leh.. MUST!! if not i DIE.. 2mrw got UT. VERY3 da important leh...

Hm... lets drop the topic aite... Guess wat?? Last night,i had a REALLY REALLY an unexpected and ridiculuos dreams. da most MEPEKZZ dream. know who i dreamt of??? Da person who i want to ignore most. Da person hu once i tot will b my last love and oni love. Da person hu i tot tat really treasure me n love me sincerely, which was actually NOT!!. Da first person hu i beg like a beggar just to say sori and want him back, LAST TIME, i highlight here, LAST TIME. Da first person hu want to put hands on me and humiliate me infront of people and talks bad bout me to his frens. Da person hu is actually VERY COWARD!! him!!!!!! MOHD FARHAN !!!!! argh!!out of all person y must b him ehk... duh.. IRRITATING!! n in da dream i can feel that he hugs me tightly and smile at me saying that HE REALLY LOVE ME!!! yucks!! SUCKS!!! For God sake!! stop it sia.. Hopefully that was just a dream sia.. nthg more!!! seriously!! hmph. juz 4get bout it.

duh...today im fasting.. HUNGRY!! :) hehe. Can hear my stomach " KROOOK KROOK!!" sey hehe. aiyoh... *sigh* later got prac somemore.. at 6.50- 8 plus!! how im supposed to have my dinner sia.. haiyoh... really HUNGRY... hehe. STOP IT EHK MARSHA!! (=

MISS MY BADAK SOO MUCH LAR!!

Oreocheesecake,

MaRsHaYuL..

The Sotong-NESS

2007-07-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

hehhe.. (= THEY said, "At last... Marsha got a blog...!!". so yar.. hehhe..tiz is my first time having a blog.. Sooooo the outdated rite... shss..SHUT_UP!! hehe. *shy2* I really no nuts bout this blog2 tinggy. so to all my dear blogger frens..... puuuhlease do help teach me aite....!! (=

HEART u all many2!!!
Muachkxxx...(=