iwannaflyfree

Today i skipped school.. y?? Sick!! haish... 2 days aweadi but still havent recover yet..

hmhm.. thats doesnt really matter.. wats really bothering me is HIM.. I dunnoe why i feel like wanting him to be always beside me.. but nah.. hes not there for me.. didnt bother at all about me.. can still shouted at me somemore.. I dunnoe until when i can endure all this.. untill when i have to swallow every single shits that he gave me.. 24/7 He said hes busy.. i tried to understand but people around me keep saying that it was only his reasons for not spending time with me.. is it true?? nah.. it musnt b true rite.. but why recently he kept breaking up his promises? why recently he kept lying to me?? i dun get it..DOes he really treasure me and love me as i am towards him?? Is love this hurt??

Why is it so awful? Gosh.. Am i too sensitve or what.. haiz.. Today supposingly HE n me meeting SHE n SHE's boyfriend. It should be a happy day but everything turn out diffly from what i expected. Dissapointment. Speechless. Tears. Hurts. That what i feel today.

Why am i really looking foward for today?? There's 4 reasons...

1- Meeting HIM.

2- Miss HIM to da max.

3- Wanna give him a surprise.

4- Wanna prove to SHE tat what SHE thinks about him is wrong n that HE's aweadi changed.

Sigh. I've never meet him for 3 freaking weeks sey!! which make me going insane, missing him like crazy lar sey. As he said he's busy with the commision event thinggy. Whereas on weekends he had a part time job. haish. argh. Then after all, i was okay with it since he promised me that he will meet me on Tuesday as in TODAY.

2nd sept was his birthday and we cant go out n celebrate it together as i said earlier due to his part time job. The birthday present that i gave was not a suprise for him as he aweadi knows earlier that im gonna buy for him the psp. Therefore i was thinking of something to surprise him. I love seeing him smile n love the way he react wen he's happy. Damn cute!

At first i was thinking of celebrating it with the threesometwosome but then they all cant make it. So the plan changed. WE will be meeting SHE n SHE's boyfriend instead of them. This means i will be making the surprise thinggy on my own. Nothing much can do on my own rite.. so i planned and decided to oni cook for him Nasi Pataya (as i eva promised him that i will cook for him) n bake for him an oreocheesecake.

As planned, today i woke up really damn early. Do house chores den cook for him. Coz HE will be meeting me first at Tamp arnd 1 b4 meeting THE COUPLE at Dhoby Ghout. Everything has aweadi prepared. Time for me to take a bath but den my hp rang. Its him. HE scolded me for not picking up his calls which i didnt noticed that actually i got 19 missed calls. After that he said " I cant meet u today. Can u plz tell them we change it to 2mrw?coz i have to go back to camp." . That point of time i felt like my chest heaved and fell with each breath i took. I was really devastated. Then i said "nahmind i'll still meeeting them. Its k if u cant" den i just hang up. I noe im being rude to just hang up like tat but Gosh. Oni God knows how i really feel sey. Just imagine u put a lot of effort n everything has already prepared n ure really cant wait to meet the one u love den the one u loved just cancel it without feeling any guilt. argh. Really hate tiz kinda feelings. Shittos! Then i started to cry like hell. STUPID MARSHA!!

I insist to still meet THE COUPLE. The meeting is actually 2pm but the showed themsleve up at 3pm. Thanks to them!duh.. I feel like wanna keep my face inside my handbag sia when they ask me where's HE? haish.. y must that stupid NS called him last minute?? HATE NS TO DA CORE!! n y must ol this happend to me wen I wanna change other people's bad view about him and wanna prove them that HE changed but end up im humiliating myself. Shittos! argh. Speechless.

At night when i reached pasir ris, i called him n shouted at him words that i shudnt said. I oso dunnoe y. Unable to contain my emotions, i felt my eyes clouding over.Then i straight away hang up the phone. Then HE keep calling me after that. Pitied him sey then i picked up. HE said he's in the cab otw to my house. I was almost choked at that point n my tears cant stop rolling down. Haish..

It was 10 PM, i still at the block near my house. Then he came n said he's sorry n wiped off my tears. He gave me a warm hug. That point of time all kinda feelings that i felt before gone just like that. I dunnoe y i easily melt n 4gif HIM. People said im too soft-hearted.. is it true?? shrugged. Love is crazy!