Shits…I have already made one step ahead.. shittos! I feel like im dreaming rite now.. I cant believed tat fatheen nabeelah really did this.. fish! I really cant imagine how it would be without him..4 freaking years.. just throw in da bin just like tat.. fcuk! Yar.. to some of them 4 years is just a number but to me its seriously killing.. I swear im trying my best to act as if everything its fine but actually its NOT, NOT AT ALL… keep myself occupied trying to always hangout with frens n threesome but fish I just cant get over it.. I really feel that my heart is already half dead.. I felt that Im just a statue that alive with no feelings.. Let other people do whatever they wants to me I just fuck care bout myself.. I know wat im doing now is definitely wrong but I still let things go on n on.. I dunnoe why maybe coz im lost!! Yar.. REALLY lost!! Im hurt to da fullest till I dun even bothered how other people care n love me.. Its just not me!! Everyday and every night I just imagine tat I cud hold him tight n make sure tat everythings stays right but now I have no right.. lies lies lies lies lies… hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt.. is wat I get.. I keep smilling n keep myself silence just trying my level best to cover up the sadness in me.. but till when.. till wen?!?! I feel so depressed right now!!! N yar.. AGAIN I hurt other people feelings.. MARSHA SO CRUEL!! Fuck. Im sori.. im really sori.. yar!! If ure reading this blog, Im really sori.. I really really didn’t meant it.. n I really hope u cud understand me n forgive me.. im sori.. im really sori.. sori..sori.. sori… sori.. yar.. im referring to YOU..